Bedtime

Little Big Man was sitting on my lap. It was bedtime and he'd been lotioned up and we'd just finished reading his bedtime story.
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The little guy was sad. We'd just had it out earlier because he claimed he wanted cereal for dinner, but when I gave him his bowl, he did more playing than eating. I tolerate a lot of stuff, but I don't tolerate wasting food. It just wasn't allowed in my house growing up, and even today it's like I can see the actual dollars attached to the food being tossed out.
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Little Big Man is pouting now, his face is buried in my chest and I can still smell the cereal on his hands. Damn, should have done a better job washing those hands, but I'm tired. It's time for his prayers, but I figure we'd better talk it out.
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"What's wrong man, you sad?"
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He nods into my chest. I've been trying to break him of this nodding thing and get him to say "Yes sir" every time, but it's a work in progress. Plus, my wife thinks there is something "country" about adding the honorific "sir" and "ma'am" to responses. People these days, I tell you.
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"I can't hear you man. Are you sad?"
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Another nod, this time while squeezing me tighter.
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"Why you sad"
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"Ummmm..."
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He likes saying "um" now. I didn't teach him that. Just like I didn't teach him to say "tasty" when he likes food, or to say "I love it" when he likes something. I don't know where he's picking this stuff since he's around my wife and I all day. Maybe tv, maybe our passing conversations, but he amazes me all the time with the things he does and says.
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"You sad 'cause of Daddy?"
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He nods his head.
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"Why Daddy made you sad?"
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"Um...""Daddy was mean to you? That's why you sad?"
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"Yes.""Daddy wasn't trying to be mean, Daddy was trying to teach you something. Daddy has to discipline you so you can grow up right. Daddy has to show you what to do, right?"
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Silence.
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"Does Daddy love you?"
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"No."
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"Look at me."
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The little boy has amazing eyes. I feel sorry for all you mothers and fathers out there with little girls because I got a feeling my little man is going to break hearts. Expressive eyes, that are so brown it's shocking. He hates to meet my eyes when he's angry, but I force him to anyway. My father taught me that. Look a man in his eyes and he knows you're a man as well.
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"Little Big Man, Daddy always loves you, no matter what. But, just 'cause Daddy loves you doesn't mean he's going to let you do what you want. Sometimes Daddy has to be mean."
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I kiss him. He giggles, then hugs me. "You still mad?"
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He shakes his head. "You love Daddy?"
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This time I get a nod. It's enough.
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"Let's say our prayers."
Source Bro. Raving Black Lunatic: http://ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com/2009/10/bedtime.html